My what a tangled web we weave!

Lord help me. I’m in the middle of an affair. A person very close to me has confided in the fact that they are seeing someone else behind their (in)significant others back. I love this person. They aren’t happy. I know this to be true. However, I don’t want to KNOW for TOO much longer than anyone else!! It’s kind of unsettling for me (even though I know that the (in)significant other is not the right person for them) and its made me think about the very few friends that kept such a secret for me over 6 years ago.  Yes, I myself carried on an affair for 3 months with my (very)significant other behind my ex-husbands back. It was the worst three months ever! All I could think about was being with my love!!  I hope these people get things taken care of soon. I hate being the only one that knows and I cannot wait for them to be able to be happy, with each other.

Well, okay, I DID tell my (very)significant other. I tell him everything. And you fine people, of course. lol.

Oxy’s. Again. Favorite topic of mine.

This past Monday, A&E television did an “Intervention In-Depth” special on my hometown.   It saddened me, to say the least, to see Portsmouth on a GLOBAL program but it truly is a story that needs to be told.    For the past couple of days, I’ve been reading comments, posts, etc. in regards to the program and I have a few things that I want to say about it as well.

First off, the locations.  A lot of Portsmouth residents are upset because they feel that the show scouted the seediest and darkest corners of the town.   I feel that the residents are wearing rose colored glasses.  They need to leave for awhile and come back and see it with a new set of eyes.  There is nothing beautiful about that town anymore.

Secondly, that fucking refrigerator.   That refrigerator alone made me sick.  My children have never opened a fridge like that in their lives!!!   From what I could tell, the father had already been home for 2 days before the mother got back….he lived there CLEAN and SOBER for 2 days with those kids and never bothered to clean it?!?!?!   Hell, he didn’t clean anything….it wasn’t until his wife came home that ANYTHING started to get clean.  WTF????   I wish I could just take up all of those suffering kids and give them all the lives that they deserve.   I really, really do.   I mean, COME ON!!!   Trash, moldy food and CAT SHIT laying around the house?!?!?!   Where the hell are children services???   Oh, I know.   OVER WORKED!!!!!

And lastly, the doctors and the pill mills taking all the blame.    I agree with everyone about the pill mills and doctors.   I even agree that it’s because of the doctors that SOME PEOPLE are now addicts.   However, you cannot take the blame off of the addicts themselves.   We are ALL responsible for our own choices.   At the end of the day, they are doing it to themselves.   I have no sympathy for any drug addict, not even an alcoholic.   They make their own choices.   I can say this, my own father bailed out on us when I was a young teen.  He worked at the prison, hurt his back, went to Doctor Borders and Doctor Proctor (WAY back in the day…that’s how long the drug problem has existed in that town), he got HOOKED, but he could have stopped if he really wanted to.   If someone is genuinely hurt and is not a drug addict, they will take their medication as PRESCRIBED.   My father however, chose to be a drug addict.   OD’d on oxy’s 3 years ago, right in that piss poor town.   Didn’t have a damn thing to his name when he died, but had 40 oxy 80′s in his pocket.   Priorities of a drug addict right there.

Before I go, I want to do what A&E should have done for Angie Pelphrey and her mission with her DONATIONS ONLY,  drug rehab facility.  I’ve donated to this facility.  My family attends the church that started the facility.  While the turnover rate IS high, there are also MANY success stories that have come out of that place.  Two of them are family members of my own.  I can honestly say that they have new lives and are doing very well.  Anything that you can send, even if its a check for $10.00, WILL HELP.  You can send any donations to this address:

New Beginnings Freedom Hall, P.O. Box 472, Piketon, Ohio  45661

I miss you all.

Nature’s first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold.   Her early leaf’s a flower;   But only so an hour.   Then leaf subsides to leaf.   So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day.  Nothing gold can stay.

~ Robert Frost

I just don’t get it.

One of my most beloved uncles, Dale, killed himself a few weeks back.  I’ve been wanting to say something about it  by putting my feelings down into words ever since we buried him, but I just haven’t had the time until now.  And I’ve just realized that I really don’t have anything to say on the topic, still.  Except that I WANT to hate him, but I CAN’T.  I loved him.  I still do.  I think that he’s a selfish bastard, but hey, I can say that about  someone that I love.  Right?  Besides….he’s not around to hear it in the first place, so wtf.

Well, I do have one thing to say, and then ask.  Fine if you don’t want to live anymore.  It’s NOT my life.  I think it’s a chicken shit way to go, but whatever. But why so violent??  Why did you make yourself SO unrecognizable that your own Mother couldn’t even view your body before she buried you???   Do you even know for a second, what that done to her???

You’re just selfish.  A selfish bastard.  But dammit, I love you and I miss you.  Gosh, you’re such a dick.

Times makin’ changes…..

I see changes.

Some, I will welcome.  Others, I will not.

Either way, they are necessary.

Don’t you hate that word?  Necessary??   It’s so FINAL.  Ya know??  A MUST.

I suppose that these changes are just that………Necessary.

Life……it is definitely a journey, full of surprises.  Some good.  Some bad.  All necessary for one reason or another.

 

Lame

“You’re so LAME”……..That’s what my 21 year old daughter told me I was, when I told her my thoughts on liberal views on relationships.

I feel that by having too liberal of views on relationships,  monogamy doesn’t have a chance.   We were discussing people that go to strip clubs and bars, as well as those that blatantly  flirt,  and seek out attention from people of the opposite sex.  I think that these things are inappropriate behavior for people in relationships.  She thinks that I’m Lame.

Instead of debating her thoughts with me, she just tells me that I’m “lame”.      That’s it.    Not “You’re lame because…..” or “Well, this is how I feel”…….Nothing.  Just “You’re so lame”.

Well,  if caring about monogamy, and liking the idea of respect between two people,  and enjoying the idea of a healthy relationship,  is “lame”, then fine.  Call me fucking Lame.  I will wear that badge,  with honor

You know what I think is lame?  I think people who have no morals or values where relationships and monogamy are concerned, are lame.

I blame it on the television and the internet.    LOL.   This one,  I will not accept blame for.  Her beliefs are beliefs that I have always disagreed with.

I have hope that she will come around to being lame with me 

Life is good.

I’m happy to report that, at this time, life is good.  Very good.

Here’s to the future.  Whatever it may be