I’ve learned…
that you should always leave loved ones with an “I love you” and a hug.
It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned…
that we are responsible for our own actions,
no matter how we want to feel about it.

I’ve learned…
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned…
that heroes are the people who do what has
to be done when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned…
that you cannot make somebody love you,
but you can make them want to.

I’ve learned…
that sometimes the people you expect to
kick you when you’re down will be the
ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned…
that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.

I’ve learned…
that just because someone doesn’t love you
the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they
don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned…
that maturity has more to do with what types
of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve
learned from them and less to do with how
many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned…
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re
going to hurt you every once in a while and
you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned…
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by
others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive
yourself.

I’ve learned…
that our background and circumstances may
have influenced who we are, but we are
responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned…
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t
mean they don’t love each other.   And just
because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean
they do.

I’ve learned…
that we don’t have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned…
that two people can look at the exact same
thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned…
that even when you think you have no more
to give, someone cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned…
that credentials on the wall do not
make you any richer.

I’ve learned…
that sometimes the people you care about most,
will hurt you the most.

I’ve learned…
that family and friends are what make
us who we are today, and without them
we would never be complete.

We’ve got Bob drama, Clayton and Amanda drama, Britney and Tyler drama, moving drama, money drama, lack of job drama, Nick and Jody drama…..I’m praying that all of this drama will bring us good fortune. It’s only fair, it’s been sooooooo hard to deal with everything. Just when one drama seems to be over…..another one starts or RE-starts.

I’m sick of it all. I want some peace in my life. If I don’t get it soon, I’m gonna flip the hell out. For real.

I read this today and found myself wondering……”Okay, now….does this quote, theory, whatever, apply to people that are unwillingly pulled into a situation???  A situation where the non-virtuous act is being committed by someone else and that someone willingly pulled another someone, in to their mess???   Because, if so…..that doesn’t seem fair to me.  Why should someone have negative Karma coming their way, when they didn’t cause the bad Karma in the first place???

If it IS in fact saying this……then how in the hell am I going to be able to react virtuously (in order to redeem my ass),  in such a non virtuous situation???  There are 2 people involved, one will be happy, the other will be sad.    I need a lot of seeds and I need to plant them carefully.

God, this sucks.

If this is the case, then I need to leave my current relationship and I can never enter into another one, again, for the rest of my life.  If I do,  any potential husbands would become an adulterers??? This doesn’t seem fair to me.

I’m so confused.  This makes me sad.  All of this has came about because I joined a “Christian” forum.  Someone who CLAIMED to be a minister, read my biography and told me that I was “living in sin and was little more than a Jezebel”.  Wth???

Yes, I was married.  Twice, in fact.  Once for about 30 days and the second time for almost 9 years.  I made poor choices because I was a young, scared,  single-mom.   Oh, and stupid…very stupid.  I didn’t leave either of them because of their unfaithfulness…..I did it because I made the wrong choices in mates and realized it after the fact.  Actually….as for the first marriage, the truth is that I knew it when I said “I Do”.  It was like a rolling stone that just got away from me.  He asked, I said yes, and before I knew it…..It had turned into this big deal and I didn’t have the balls to get out of it…..I just let it happen.  (Sorry for that, Rick).   The second marriage took a little longer.  After the first year, I wondered if I made the right choice….by year five…I KNEW I’d made the wrong choice, but I was stuck.  Completely.

My current sweetie says that he will only marry ONCE.   With that being said….according to this scripture, if he marries me, he too becomes an adulterer.   That doesn’t seem fair to him.  He’s a wonderful person who happened to fall in love with me….why should he be given such a title for simply following his heart????

Does this mean that I’ve had my chance at a happy marriage and because I was so young and stupid with my choices in men, I am now not worthy of a loving husband, EVER?

Because my sweetie says that he will only marry once and the fact that he takes The Bible to heart, I’m wondering if he ever feels that by being with me, living in sin and all…..he needs to keep his options open for a more christian-like woman?  After all, as of now, he’s  not an adulterer, he’s merely a fornicator (which is a lesser offense in The Bible, from what I can tell).  Apparently he has to marry my adulterous butt in order to be an adulterer himself.

But me??  Well, I guess I have a giant, albeit invisible,  “A” on my chest.  I received it when I divorced my first husband…..sorry to the 2nd husband.  I guess that I doomed you to hell without even knowing it?!?!

Sigh.

UPDATE!

This was REALLY bothering me…..so I had to dig deeper and get some advice.  This is what I found.  Apparently, I CAN marry again and yes, my husband would become an adulterer because of marrying me.  HOWEVER….as long as we ask for forgiveness, we will be forgiven.  OKAY.  Good.  lol

Personally though, after MUCH soul searching, I’ve decided that God would NEVER send me to hell for divorcing and re-marrying…..Jesus died for my sins and my God is a forgiving God.  I don’t even know why I let that crazy preacher on the forum upset me in the first place.  I will never again to go a Christian forum for help with anything AGAIN.  Obviously they are full of nutjobs and trolls.   I have a beautiful life and it’s all because of my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Dad (Buster Broughton)
Dale Broughton
Shaun Adkins
Boomer Moore
Scott Blair
Tracy Thomlin
Sherman Tracey
Joey Estep
Pierre Bloomfield
Anicia Cooper
Jeff Hickman
Heather Tolbert
John Conley
Tammy Evans
Bub Miller
John John Sizemore

Anthony Paul Watson

…………

Am I stressing? Maybe a little, but I prayed this morning and I immediately felt better.   God has always watched over us and I know that he continues to do so.   However, we still have to do our part…..and we will.   I’m hopeful, as always.

We love.  We fight.  We love.  We fight.  We love.  Is this the norm?  Yes, I have decided that it is so.  It is my belief  that fighting is normal in a relationship.   I’ve been in three relationships in my life.  The first two, we fought and I ended it on both counts.  Why?  Because they weren’t worth fighting with, they were abusive people that didn’t care about my feelings and I didn’t care about theirs.  But this time?  This time is different.

I know people that have been married for 20+ years and say that they fought like cats and dogs for the first 10 or 15 years because of family responsibilities, finances  and differences of opinion.  I know others that bailed out after just a year or two because they just couldn’t hack it.   I  like to think that the earlier of the two were truly in love and it worked because they made it work and the later of the two were just too wrapped up in themselves to care about the other.  Too young and selfish to know better.  Not ready for the “adult pants” that they put themselves into.

The fact is, if we (my guy and I) didn’t have so many outside influences, I don’t know what we would REALLY fight about.   If the family dramas and kid responsibilities didn’t exist, we would fight over chores, I suppose.  We already do.  lol  *Reminder to self….when the kids are gone, buy a smaller house*

I wonder sometimes….do we strive on drama?  Does it keep us going?  Does it force us to learn more about the other??  Is it our relationship professor??

Also know that nobody is physically hurt in these fights.  We would get a ring for that.  And no, not a wedding ring either.  lol  Not so sure that will ever happen….but who knows.  We may shock everyone one day.

Well, okay, I DID tell my (very)significant other. I tell him everything. And you fine people, of course. lol.

First off, the locations.  A lot of Portsmouth residents are upset because they feel that the show scouted the seediest and darkest corners of the town.   I feel that the residents are wearing rose colored glasses.  They need to leave for awhile and come back and see it with a new set of eyes.  There is nothing beautiful about that town anymore.

Secondly, that fucking refrigerator.   That refrigerator alone made me sick.  My children have never opened a fridge like that in their lives!!!   From what I could tell, the father had already been home for 2 days before the mother got back….he lived there CLEAN and SOBER for 2 days with those kids and never bothered to clean it?!?!?!   Hell, he didn’t clean anything….it wasn’t until his wife came home that ANYTHING started to get clean.  WTF????   I wish I could just take up all of those suffering kids and give them all the lives that they deserve.   I really, really do.   I mean, COME ON!!!   Trash, moldy food and CAT SHIT laying around the house?!?!?!   Where the hell are children services???   Oh, I know.   OVER WORKED!!!!!

And lastly, the doctors and the pill mills taking all the blame.    I agree with everyone about the pill mills and doctors.   I even agree that it’s because of the doctors that SOME PEOPLE are now addicts.   However, you cannot take the blame off of the addicts themselves.   We are ALL responsible for our own choices.   At the end of the day, they are doing it to themselves.   I have no sympathy for any drug addict, not even an alcoholic.   They make their own choices.   I can say this, my own father bailed out on us when I was a young teen.  He worked at the prison, hurt his back, went to Doctor Borders and Doctor Proctor (WAY back in the day…that’s how long the drug problem has existed in that town), he got HOOKED, but he could have stopped if he really wanted to.   If someone is genuinely hurt and is not a drug addict, they will take their medication as PRESCRIBED.   My father however, chose to be a drug addict.   OD’d on oxy’s 3 years ago, right in that piss poor town.   Didn’t have a damn thing to his name when he died, but had 40 oxy 80′s in his pocket.   Priorities of a drug addict right there.

Before I go, I want to do what A&E should have done for Angie Pelphrey and her mission with her DONATIONS ONLY,  drug rehab facility.  I’ve donated to this facility.  My family attends the church that started the facility.  While the turnover rate IS high, there are also MANY success stories that have come out of that place.  Two of them are family members of my own.  I can honestly say that they have new lives and are doing very well.  Anything that you can send, even if its a check for $10.00, WILL HELP.  You can send any donations to this address:

New Beginnings Freedom Hall, P.O. Box 472, Piketon, Ohio  45661

~ Robert Frost